"Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you."
I love that song.
But I'm just now realizing how creepy it is. I mean, honestly. "How my poor heart aches with every step you take." It's a little obsessive.
I'm sitting on my couch, facebooking and twittering distractedly while It's Entertainment (the newest Celtic Thunder dvd) is playing on my tv in the background. Yes, background. I've watched it enough for it to now be classified as "background noise". Mostly it's on because I just finished watching Paranormal Activity and am slightly too terrified to go to bed and read.... So, I decided to blog and enjoy some cheesy viewing/easy listening.
One of them is really cute though, I must say. I can't decide if he's the real reason why I'm watching this again or not..... It's hard to tell. He's blonde and has the voice of a folk-singing angel. Not to mention he's Irish. Can you spell "b-o-n-u-s" ?
.....But, I digress.
I've started working on my book again. I am now at least one hundred words into chapter two. And the inspiration for future chapters is flowing like you would not believe. I'm really, really excited about it! There's something so exciting about new inspiration on an old writing project. Mostly I'm just thrilled that it's sticking with me and I'm not getting bored with it like I've done so many times in the past. I think I'm actually writing the kind of stuff I like reading, so it's peaking my interest. Yay! :)
I've also picked up Anna Karenina again lately and am remembering just how much I love Tolstoy's writing. I had to renew it from the library, for the second time, because it's such a huge book and I've been so busy, but I'm still loving it. It's a complete culture shock, because the entire book is so incredibly Russian, but that's kind of why I love it. I mean, it has like, eight pages of footnotes. Those do get a little bit frustrating, though. But still... it's kind of like traveling to a new country without having to actually go anywhere. Which, normally, I would say is depressing because the going somewhere is the funnest part of traveling, but I possess no actual desire to ever go to Russia. Ever. So, for me, I'm getting the experience without having to go. Which is exactly the way I like it. Not to mention the character development in Anna K. is just phenomenally inspiring. I think all this reading I'm doing is really beneficial for my writing. It has me noticing and remembering things so much better.
Speaking of inspiration.... the inspiration fairies have been gifting me greatly the past couple of weeks. I squeezed out another new song on the guitar three days ago. It's one of those feel-good songs that you listen to when you're having a cruddy day. About life and how you'd like it to be, and who you'd love to live it with.
It's called "Nothing's Worth More than this Day".... yup. That's a Goethe quote. Sue me. :)
here are the lyrics:
I'd like to lie in the road/
and watch the lights turnin'/
I'd like to lie next to you
and listen to you breathin'/
I'd like to come back to
this place, see your arms open/
I'd like to know you're the
reason for my copin'/
nothing's worth more than this day/
skies may turn cloudy and grey/
but nothing's worth more than this day/
I'd like to know there's no
fear of growing older/
I'd like to know I can cry
my eyes out on your shoulder/
I'd like to know I can't
feel lonely all the time/
so give me your hand
and I'll put it in mine/
Nothing's worth more than this day/
skies may turn cloudy and grey/
but nothing's worth more than this day/
if you don't love me, don't let me know/
if you don't love me, don't let me know/
if you don't love me, don't let me know/
if you don't love me, don't let me know/
I'd like to know there's a
reason to keep the faith/
I'd like to know the world
is still full of space/
I'd like to know I'm the reason
for your smile/
I'd like to know that this
life is still worthwhile/
nothing's worth more than this day/
skies may turn cloudy and grey/
but nothing's worth more than this day/
the guitar sounds pretty awesome for it, too.
I would just like to take the time to point out that men in kilts will always be more attractive than men who are not in kilts.
It's not really fair that men look so amazing in skirts. Maybe it's just me.
But honestly. Dress kilts? Fan-freakin-tastic.
Okay.... Girlish moment of weakness over.
Well, the video is rolling the end credits, so I think I'm gonna cut this blog post short.
Until next time, my loves!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Come By The Hills
"Come by the hills to a land where life is a song, and stand where the birds fill the air with their joy all day long. Where the trees sway in time and even the wind sings in tune, and the cares of tomorrow can wait till this day is done."
Isn't that beautiful?
It's from a Celtic Thunder song.
I'm sitting in my room with bed unmade, folded laundry waiting to be put away, a half-eaten bowl of slowly melting ice cream next to me and candles lit. My mom and my cousin are downstairs watching tv and as much as I love the Bravo channel shows, my idea of relaxing after working does not involve watching a bunch of catty women scream at each other on The Real Housewives of New York: Reunion. Therefore, I decided to blog.
I finished another book! The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I fell in love... again! The story was engrossing, the characters were inescapable, and the writing, oh, the writing was outstanding. I especially loved Fitz's excessive use of the word "nebulous".... Brilliant! The metaphors were stunning- the use of irony was admirable. Every phrase was scripted beautifully, each word carefully chosen.
"As she talked and caught his eyes and turned her lovely head, she moved him as he had never been moved before. The sheath that held her soul had assumed significance. That was all. She was a sun, radiant, growing, gathering light and storing it- then after an eternity pouring it forth in a glance, the fragment of a sentence, to that part of him that cherished all beauty and illusion."
"There were silences as murmorous as sound."
"He was saying this over and over to himself with his teeth tight shut, and a perfect orgy of hate and fright in his eyes."
"From the tenement windows leaned rotund, moon-shaped mothers, as constellations of this sordid heaven; women like dark imperfect jewels, women like vegetables, women like great bags of abominably dirty laundry."
I think I found my favorite phrase in the entire book when I came upon this line:
"Anything was better than this cup of perspiration and tears."
Something about it just sends shivers up and down my spine. It's a beautiful sentence.
I cannot wait to buy The Beautiful and Damned and add to my collection, and to read Fitz's other books. I love his style of writing, it's just so graceful.
I went downtown and visited Powell's Books today. The entire bookstore is the size of one city block. It's a reader's paradise! I bought two books for six dollars (one new and one used... Thank God for Dover editions). Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre.
I wasn't able to finish Jane Eyre because I couldn't renew it as it was on hold at the library, so I bought my own copy..... I haven't ever read Wuthering Heights, either, and usually it's not my custom to buy books I haven't read, but in this case I made an acception as I have it on good authority that both of these books I will love.
I can't read them yet, even though I've already broken into the first two chapters of Wuthering Heights. Shamefully, I have made no further progress in Anna Karenina and Great Expectations has been occupying my time otherwise. I still haven't even started Dead Souls by Gogol and The Age of Innocence has only been delved into the first 60 or so pages.
I think I should start a bookclub.
I've been playing around with the idea in my head for a while now, I can't do it this summer.... but maybe I'll start one up in the fall. I've been wanting to get into a book club for the past year or so, but I couldn't do it with all of the school I had... but I no longer have that on my shoulders (taking a year off is quite useful, actually), so there's really no better time than now! Or, shall I say, September?
It's time for "Lyric of the week!" Here's the lyric:
"But where do you go to, my lovely? When you're alone in your bed. Tell me the thoughts that surround you, I want to look inside your head." - Where Do You Go to My Lovely (Marie Claire) - Peter Sarstedt.
Awesome song, you all should go listen to it! :)
It's about that time of year to get out the old Audrey Hepburn movies. I haven't watched Roman Holiday in eons!
Mmm, I just remembered, I have a piece of prose (more like a well thought-out journal entry) from the other day at the beach, after my epiphany about writing.
I'll copy it here.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, June 13th, 2010 -impromptu day at Cannon Beach
I think I may have figured it out. I'm a writer. I know it now.
It happened while at the Cannon Beach Bookstore. I was poring lustily over classics and poetry books, when I found the art section. Suddenly, upwards of 5 titles jumped out at me.
They were all books about perfecting and encouraging your writing. I have several books like this already, but I picked them all up anyway and leafed through each one...
Memories came flooding back of Dorothea brande's "15 minutes every morning after you wake," and "keep forever the childlike innocence", and Annie Dillard's "house-building" and "typewriter erruptions". Just as I was musing over starting these practices up again, Kailey called me over to look at, wonder of wonders, a cookbook.
The dreaded, yet inescapably tempting, alternative to authorhood. I walked over, mind still stuck on writing. The cookbook bored me. I continued on my search of the 'classics' wall covered in Penguin paperback editions. We left the bookstore. Next, was EVOO, the cooking school. It smelled delicious. It was there that I realized I love cooking so much, and its a huge part of me, but its not where my heart is. It never really was.
My heart is in words. Words are as much, and maybe more, a part of me as flesh and blood and sinew. I've been anticipating this moment for awhile now. Friends and cousins have true passion for food, my love for it doesn't compare. I've seen that for awhile... But still I couldn't give up chef-hood and culinary school. But right now, in this moment, in this beautiful gift of a sunny day, I'm sure that I'm meant to pursue writing. Nothing's stronger than this feeling, this knowledge. The freedom of writing brings me to my knees.
I long for it, eagerly now I stretch out my hands...
I know now that I am a writer... I've always known, but now I see myself a writer, and its beautiful. "Nothing is worth more than this day".... Starting today, I continue on my writer's journey! Everything makes so much sense now. How could I ever have been confused? It's like there never was an option, a choice. It's writing.
It always has been and it always will be.
--------------------------------------------------------------
And that, my friends, is the way the cookie crumbles. :)
I'm off to continue my traverse through literature!
More thoughts and rambles tomorrow.
Sweet dreams!
Xx
Isn't that beautiful?
It's from a Celtic Thunder song.
I'm sitting in my room with bed unmade, folded laundry waiting to be put away, a half-eaten bowl of slowly melting ice cream next to me and candles lit. My mom and my cousin are downstairs watching tv and as much as I love the Bravo channel shows, my idea of relaxing after working does not involve watching a bunch of catty women scream at each other on The Real Housewives of New York: Reunion. Therefore, I decided to blog.
I finished another book! The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I fell in love... again! The story was engrossing, the characters were inescapable, and the writing, oh, the writing was outstanding. I especially loved Fitz's excessive use of the word "nebulous".... Brilliant! The metaphors were stunning- the use of irony was admirable. Every phrase was scripted beautifully, each word carefully chosen.
"As she talked and caught his eyes and turned her lovely head, she moved him as he had never been moved before. The sheath that held her soul had assumed significance. That was all. She was a sun, radiant, growing, gathering light and storing it- then after an eternity pouring it forth in a glance, the fragment of a sentence, to that part of him that cherished all beauty and illusion."
"There were silences as murmorous as sound."
"He was saying this over and over to himself with his teeth tight shut, and a perfect orgy of hate and fright in his eyes."
"From the tenement windows leaned rotund, moon-shaped mothers, as constellations of this sordid heaven; women like dark imperfect jewels, women like vegetables, women like great bags of abominably dirty laundry."
I think I found my favorite phrase in the entire book when I came upon this line:
"Anything was better than this cup of perspiration and tears."
Something about it just sends shivers up and down my spine. It's a beautiful sentence.
I cannot wait to buy The Beautiful and Damned and add to my collection, and to read Fitz's other books. I love his style of writing, it's just so graceful.
I went downtown and visited Powell's Books today. The entire bookstore is the size of one city block. It's a reader's paradise! I bought two books for six dollars (one new and one used... Thank God for Dover editions). Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre.
I wasn't able to finish Jane Eyre because I couldn't renew it as it was on hold at the library, so I bought my own copy..... I haven't ever read Wuthering Heights, either, and usually it's not my custom to buy books I haven't read, but in this case I made an acception as I have it on good authority that both of these books I will love.
I can't read them yet, even though I've already broken into the first two chapters of Wuthering Heights. Shamefully, I have made no further progress in Anna Karenina and Great Expectations has been occupying my time otherwise. I still haven't even started Dead Souls by Gogol and The Age of Innocence has only been delved into the first 60 or so pages.
I think I should start a bookclub.
I've been playing around with the idea in my head for a while now, I can't do it this summer.... but maybe I'll start one up in the fall. I've been wanting to get into a book club for the past year or so, but I couldn't do it with all of the school I had... but I no longer have that on my shoulders (taking a year off is quite useful, actually), so there's really no better time than now! Or, shall I say, September?
It's time for "Lyric of the week!" Here's the lyric:
"But where do you go to, my lovely? When you're alone in your bed. Tell me the thoughts that surround you, I want to look inside your head." - Where Do You Go to My Lovely (Marie Claire) - Peter Sarstedt.
Awesome song, you all should go listen to it! :)
It's about that time of year to get out the old Audrey Hepburn movies. I haven't watched Roman Holiday in eons!
Mmm, I just remembered, I have a piece of prose (more like a well thought-out journal entry) from the other day at the beach, after my epiphany about writing.
I'll copy it here.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, June 13th, 2010 -impromptu day at Cannon Beach
I think I may have figured it out. I'm a writer. I know it now.
It happened while at the Cannon Beach Bookstore. I was poring lustily over classics and poetry books, when I found the art section. Suddenly, upwards of 5 titles jumped out at me.
They were all books about perfecting and encouraging your writing. I have several books like this already, but I picked them all up anyway and leafed through each one...
Memories came flooding back of Dorothea brande's "15 minutes every morning after you wake," and "keep forever the childlike innocence", and Annie Dillard's "house-building" and "typewriter erruptions". Just as I was musing over starting these practices up again, Kailey called me over to look at, wonder of wonders, a cookbook.
The dreaded, yet inescapably tempting, alternative to authorhood. I walked over, mind still stuck on writing. The cookbook bored me. I continued on my search of the 'classics' wall covered in Penguin paperback editions. We left the bookstore. Next, was EVOO, the cooking school. It smelled delicious. It was there that I realized I love cooking so much, and its a huge part of me, but its not where my heart is. It never really was.
My heart is in words. Words are as much, and maybe more, a part of me as flesh and blood and sinew. I've been anticipating this moment for awhile now. Friends and cousins have true passion for food, my love for it doesn't compare. I've seen that for awhile... But still I couldn't give up chef-hood and culinary school. But right now, in this moment, in this beautiful gift of a sunny day, I'm sure that I'm meant to pursue writing. Nothing's stronger than this feeling, this knowledge. The freedom of writing brings me to my knees.
I long for it, eagerly now I stretch out my hands...
I know now that I am a writer... I've always known, but now I see myself a writer, and its beautiful. "Nothing is worth more than this day".... Starting today, I continue on my writer's journey! Everything makes so much sense now. How could I ever have been confused? It's like there never was an option, a choice. It's writing.
It always has been and it always will be.
--------------------------------------------------------------
And that, my friends, is the way the cookie crumbles. :)
I'm off to continue my traverse through literature!
More thoughts and rambles tomorrow.
Sweet dreams!
Xx
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Mosquito Bites
Some things have happened since my last update.
I graduated.
I received a laptop for said graduation.
I started working.
I have recently become a huge fan of Celtic Thunder. (don't judge me).
My cousin has descended upon us for a month.
I went to the beach.
I got more books. (no surprise there).
Last night I got about eight mosquito bites on my arms and legs. The little suckers love me.
Graduation was, well, it's over with. That's all I have to say about that.
my laptop, newly christened "Merlin", is a delightful addition to my bedroom. I love him dearly.
Work is AWESOME. I worked three consecutive nights this week... love it, love it, LOVE it.
Celtic Thunder.... I'll leave that to your imagination. Pretty much, it's on all the time. I even bought one of their concert dvds..... and am planning a trip to Ireland ASAP, (but technically I was already planning this trip to Ireland before I heard of them. They just kind of intensified the motiviation a little bit.... that is my story, and I am definitely sticking to it).
Descent of Kailey: long-awaited for! It's good to have her back under our roof for awhile. :)
Now, as to the new books, it's really not as bad as it sounds.....ish.
I got a 50th Anniversary Edition of To Kill a Mockingbird (and the illustrations on the front cover are fabulous, in case you were wondering), and a pocket handbook to keeping the Earth green. It was on clearance at Border's for $1.98. I pretty much had to.
I almost bought Alice in Wonderland and Wuthering Heights, but my sister is apparently sending me an Amazon.com gift card for graduation, so I showed some self-restraint and decided to wait a tad bit longer.
And that leaves the beach.
We went today! It started out being overcast and rainy, but my parents stuck it out (at the urging of my cousin and I), and sure enough, the clouds burned off and it was a gloriously sunny day at the Coast. They thanked us for the incredible optimism and undying faith in positivity later. ;)
The waves were gorgeous today, the tide was in and the ocean surged to and fro with terrible dignity. They were swollen, full and powerful. I could stare at the ocean for hours and never feel alone. Everytime I visit the beach I feel like I'm meant to live there someday... but not just any beach. It has to be a certain type. If its not the Oregon Coast, it has to resemble the Oregon Coast. It has to be clean and grey with soft sand and rocky coastlines, monoliths and grassy dunes and miles and miles of blue sky.
It cannot be humid, or hot, and there cannot be palm trees around with exotic fish or azul blue waters. It cannot be dirty. It's not to say I don't enjoy tropical beaches.... because I do. (believe me....ain't nothing wrong with hot, hot sun and warm water) But I wouldn't want to live by one. That could just be because I don't want to live somewhere really warm. I like my cool, rainy Northwest weather.
But, as usual, I digress.
I had a delicious Crab Benedict for breakfast today at the beach. The hollandaise sauce could have been thicker, though. Just thinking about it makes me hungry again. Mmmmm....
Oh, I have also written a new song since my last update.
It's a pretty nice little tune. I'd like to tinker around and figure out some piano for it.... but I'm really not good enough at playing piano to do that, so it probably won't happen.
Here's the lyrics, as always. :)
*Beautiful*
You're beautiful to me
Life should always be
As beautiful as you make me feel/
the ocean rises and falls
as I build my walls
you chase after me and bring me back home/
the world has its shine
but I'd rather know your mind
there's nothing I wouldn't do to be right here with you/
Right here with you/
right here with you/
I'd write your name in the sky
and dream of a world without lies/
I'd write your name in the sky
and dream of a world without lies/
You're beautiful to me
Life should always be
as beautiful as you make me feel.....
its one of those songs that doesn't follow an actual song structure.
There's no chorus, as you can see... just three verses and a release and then a repeat of the first verse, but it sounds nice with the melody.
So that's pretty much my life lately. Okay, that's a lie. My life is way more intricate.... but this is the ultra-short version of the past two weeks. The re-cap, you might say.
The World Cup is on now.... I hear the matches are great. I haven't caught one yet. :( I missed the England vs. USA match, and that kind of bummed me out. I was voting for England! I know.. how un-American of me.
Oh, and I think I've finally solved the earth-shattering debate entitled "what in the world do I do with the rest of my life???"
It's writing. It's not culinary school like I thought it was. It's writing, it always has been writing. I've just been too scared to admit that I am a writer and that writing is the one thing that makes me truly happy. I'm not sure what it was but I figured it out today. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I don't feel scared about it anymore. I'm thrilled, actually. I really couldn't imagine doing anything else. I love food, just like I love music, but that's not where my heart is.
My heart is in words. The written word is my one true love, and its that path that I must follow undoubtedly. :)
So I've decided to revisit a few of my old writing textbooks, Becoming a Writer and The Writing Life by Dorothea Brande and Annie Dillard, respectively. They're amazing, but its been awhile since I've read them and I think I could probably glean a lot of new, helpful information from these old friends.
Life is exciting, isn't it?
Now, it really is time for me to sign off... I am very sleepy.
Pleasant dreams, everyone!
Xx
I graduated.
I received a laptop for said graduation.
I started working.
I have recently become a huge fan of Celtic Thunder. (don't judge me).
My cousin has descended upon us for a month.
I went to the beach.
I got more books. (no surprise there).
Last night I got about eight mosquito bites on my arms and legs. The little suckers love me.
Graduation was, well, it's over with. That's all I have to say about that.
my laptop, newly christened "Merlin", is a delightful addition to my bedroom. I love him dearly.
Work is AWESOME. I worked three consecutive nights this week... love it, love it, LOVE it.
Celtic Thunder.... I'll leave that to your imagination. Pretty much, it's on all the time. I even bought one of their concert dvds..... and am planning a trip to Ireland ASAP, (but technically I was already planning this trip to Ireland before I heard of them. They just kind of intensified the motiviation a little bit.... that is my story, and I am definitely sticking to it).
Descent of Kailey: long-awaited for! It's good to have her back under our roof for awhile. :)
Now, as to the new books, it's really not as bad as it sounds.....ish.
I got a 50th Anniversary Edition of To Kill a Mockingbird (and the illustrations on the front cover are fabulous, in case you were wondering), and a pocket handbook to keeping the Earth green. It was on clearance at Border's for $1.98. I pretty much had to.
I almost bought Alice in Wonderland and Wuthering Heights, but my sister is apparently sending me an Amazon.com gift card for graduation, so I showed some self-restraint and decided to wait a tad bit longer.
And that leaves the beach.
We went today! It started out being overcast and rainy, but my parents stuck it out (at the urging of my cousin and I), and sure enough, the clouds burned off and it was a gloriously sunny day at the Coast. They thanked us for the incredible optimism and undying faith in positivity later. ;)
The waves were gorgeous today, the tide was in and the ocean surged to and fro with terrible dignity. They were swollen, full and powerful. I could stare at the ocean for hours and never feel alone. Everytime I visit the beach I feel like I'm meant to live there someday... but not just any beach. It has to be a certain type. If its not the Oregon Coast, it has to resemble the Oregon Coast. It has to be clean and grey with soft sand and rocky coastlines, monoliths and grassy dunes and miles and miles of blue sky.
It cannot be humid, or hot, and there cannot be palm trees around with exotic fish or azul blue waters. It cannot be dirty. It's not to say I don't enjoy tropical beaches.... because I do. (believe me....ain't nothing wrong with hot, hot sun and warm water) But I wouldn't want to live by one. That could just be because I don't want to live somewhere really warm. I like my cool, rainy Northwest weather.
But, as usual, I digress.
I had a delicious Crab Benedict for breakfast today at the beach. The hollandaise sauce could have been thicker, though. Just thinking about it makes me hungry again. Mmmmm....
Oh, I have also written a new song since my last update.
It's a pretty nice little tune. I'd like to tinker around and figure out some piano for it.... but I'm really not good enough at playing piano to do that, so it probably won't happen.
Here's the lyrics, as always. :)
*Beautiful*
You're beautiful to me
Life should always be
As beautiful as you make me feel/
the ocean rises and falls
as I build my walls
you chase after me and bring me back home/
the world has its shine
but I'd rather know your mind
there's nothing I wouldn't do to be right here with you/
Right here with you/
right here with you/
I'd write your name in the sky
and dream of a world without lies/
I'd write your name in the sky
and dream of a world without lies/
You're beautiful to me
Life should always be
as beautiful as you make me feel.....
its one of those songs that doesn't follow an actual song structure.
There's no chorus, as you can see... just three verses and a release and then a repeat of the first verse, but it sounds nice with the melody.
So that's pretty much my life lately. Okay, that's a lie. My life is way more intricate.... but this is the ultra-short version of the past two weeks. The re-cap, you might say.
The World Cup is on now.... I hear the matches are great. I haven't caught one yet. :( I missed the England vs. USA match, and that kind of bummed me out. I was voting for England! I know.. how un-American of me.
Oh, and I think I've finally solved the earth-shattering debate entitled "what in the world do I do with the rest of my life???"
It's writing. It's not culinary school like I thought it was. It's writing, it always has been writing. I've just been too scared to admit that I am a writer and that writing is the one thing that makes me truly happy. I'm not sure what it was but I figured it out today. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I don't feel scared about it anymore. I'm thrilled, actually. I really couldn't imagine doing anything else. I love food, just like I love music, but that's not where my heart is.
My heart is in words. The written word is my one true love, and its that path that I must follow undoubtedly. :)
So I've decided to revisit a few of my old writing textbooks, Becoming a Writer and The Writing Life by Dorothea Brande and Annie Dillard, respectively. They're amazing, but its been awhile since I've read them and I think I could probably glean a lot of new, helpful information from these old friends.
Life is exciting, isn't it?
Now, it really is time for me to sign off... I am very sleepy.
Pleasant dreams, everyone!
Xx
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