Lights on the Shishigashira Tree

"Love gets lost.... Find my love."

I've been listening to The Avett Brothers all day long today, and now I'm longing for the backwoods of Tennessee, and summer nights spent in fields catching fireflies. I've never seen Tennessee, and I've never seen fireflies, either.
I'd like to change both of these things soon.

The sun came out today, and played luxuriously, rolling around in the sky and shedding lovely, warm rays down to earth. I wish I could bottle sunlight, just like you catch and bottle fireflies. I could collect jars of sun from all over the world. Sunlight in Bali, where my affection for peaceful balance draws my heart. Sunlight in Jerusalem, where my thirst for Spiritual understanding draws my soul. Sunlight in Valencia, Rome, Provence and Morocco.

Labeled and sorted according to vibrancy, they would rest gloriously on a shelf in my writing room, and everyday as I sat, waiting to be inspired, I could look at my little shelf of sunlight, and feel the light, the heat, warm and encapsulate the room. I feel you could never be unhappy if you had a shelf of international sunlight in your possession. I might have two or three jars of Oregon sunlight, to always remind me of home, because I don't think the sun shines more beautifully anywhere in the world.......


"Well you set my life a'whirling, darlin' when you're twirling on the floor. Who cares about tomorrow? What more is tomorrow than another day?"

I made pancakes tonight, a little after 9'0'clock. My dad fried up some bacon, and with a few eggs, we ate breakfast at 9:30 pm. I told him I was glad that I could cook, because it made me feel accomplished, and safe. Like I was always going to be okay, because I can feed myself. In reality, though, I think it's just the pancakes that make me feel like I'm always going to be okay. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, that pancakes have healing powers unknown to modern science. They fix everything, and make every happy day a thousand times happier.

I love pancakes.

I'm inspired by pancakes.

While I was cooking them, I thought, "I bet these are going to make me want to write," and sure enough, here I am. Updating my blog, which I've been shamefully bad at this year. I was doing so well at updating every few days back in November/December, and then it kind of fell apart. May has been fairly successful, though, and it's not over yet.

Anyways, back to pancakes.
I have this secret dream that all of my life's biggest moments are going to revolve around pancakes. Well, the ones I can control, anyways.
For instance, I would probably say yes to any proposal, if it were over pancakes, because pancakes put me in the silliest, most romantic mood I've ever experienced. I'm a sucker for blue eyes and pancakes. The combination could square me away for the rest of my natural born life, if I'm not careful.
What an odd thing to have to be aware of...

I would love it if, at my very, very, very small, intimate wedding, instead of having a big dinner, we all sat at two or three tables with mismatched plates, lights in the trees and ate pancakes and drank wine. Because I actually do think the combination sounds delightful.

When I break the news to my husband that we're expecting, I'd do it over pancakes.

I'd eat pancakes the day my book was supposed to be released, the day of my child's birth, the day I move to Ireland, the day my best friend gets married. The day my child graduates high school. And, if possible, the last meal I'd ever want to eat would be pancakes.

It's only a dream, and a small one at that, but it's a dream nevertheless, and no matter what anybody says, I'm not letting go of it. That's the beauty of dreams, you can choose to hold onto them or not, because you're the only one who can make them come true......


"Make sure my sister knows I loved her, make sure my mother knows the same. Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name."

My mom and dad recently bought a Shishigashira Japanese Maple tree for my dad's birthday. 58th, birthday........I'm not sure when he started getting old.

Anyways, I'm no landscape artist, but it seems evident by my research that these Japanese maples, like other variations, come in different colors and textures, but they actually look like trees rather than large plants like so many of the other Japanese maples I've come across do. Trust me, for my 17 years, I've come across a lot of Japanese maples. And I still think they're beautiful, regardless.

Over pancakes, my dad made a remark about how "Come Christmastime, I'm going to put lights in the Shishigashira tree."
I said, "Why not put lights in it now?"
He said, ".... I'll think about it."

And as I looked out over our dark backyard, I imagined lights in the Shishigashira, and with the sound of Al Green serenading in the background, I smiled.

Christmas lights in a Shishigashira tree, in the middle of summer, with patio domino games, all to the tune of John Denver and Marvin Gaye.

Sometimes I think I never want to leave home.

Sentimentality and Fat Elvis

I just took a long, hot bath. I listened to some Skinny Love, and read through a fairly weighty stack of old cards that I've kept and collected over the years. This stack was mostly from the past few birthdays and graduation.
If there was ever an automatic ego boost, this is the way to get it.
Seriously.
People tell you things in grad cards that they will never, ever tell you in real life.
I'm not saying this to be rude, or pessimistic. It's just true.

You learn a lot about yourself from what people write in your graduation cards.
Sometimes you learn that you've touched people's lives you don't even hardly know.
Sometimes you learn that your parents' friends consider you their friend too, now that you've entered into adulthood.
Sometimes you learn these new friendships with older adults will bless your life immensely.
Sometimes you learn that your grandmother loves you deeply.
Sometimes you learn who really cares, and who's really just jotting their name on the card because they have to.
It's an intensely emotional process, reading and re-reading Graduation cards. You catch things the second and third time around that you didn't quite see before.

I think this is the first time I actually comprehended the sentence "You mean the world to me" that my grandmother placed beneath the acrostic poem she wrote of my name.
Sometimes you learn things are a little too good to be true, but that's okay. It's nice to hear them anyways.

A few weeks ago, I found this Beanie Baby that my friend brought back for me from her first trip to Las Vegas last summer. It's a red bear with an Elvis hairdo, holding a plastic 'autographed' guitar. Oh, and it's wearing white sunglasses.
I love it, because without even trying, the general pudginess of the bear makes it look more like Fat Elvis than Thin Elvis. Fat Elvis is fun to say out loud. Fat Elvis. Fat Elvis. Fat Elvis. It's even fun to type.

Have you ever googled images of Fat Elvis?
... Don't.

Thinking about Fat Elvis makes me wonder which Elvis people generally prefer.

Fat Elvis or Thin Elvis?

Marilyn Monroe or Norma Jean?

Paul McCartney Solo or Wings?


Electric or acoustic?

paper or plastic?


Diet or sugar-free?


Zodiac or Kerouac?


Fins or beaks?

Taste or sight?

Inside or out?

Love or Money?






I wonder which Elvis the real Elvis would choose?









My loves,
My doves,
My eggs

H-A-P-P-Y A-N-N-I-V-E-R-S-A-R-Y

Happy Anniversary, Benjamin, Natalie and Raelyn.

Two years have gone by, countless changes have come and gone.
Lies have been told, truths have been unfolded, hurts have been sold, and regrets have been demolished.
Laughs have been had, smiles have been given, hugs have been shared, weddings have been celebrated.
Happiness is here, and gone again. Memories are forever, and trust is omnipresent.
Giving up isn't an option. It's our idea of Original Sin, remember?

I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you three.
You've each saved me.
All of you, together have saved me.

Time and time again, you've shown me your goodness, and you've made me feel your love.
I can't thank God enough for each of you, and I'm proud to call you my sisters, my brother.
Forever and a day, I'll always be your Annie.

Love,
Hannah

"Well, you say with love so easy, and I haven't loved a soul since and I never will, I suppose, but this place gave me more than my eyes back. Or taught me how to spell, which I'll never learn anyway, but with all the fights and the trouble I've been here it taught me what help is, and how to live again, and I don't want to say goodbye."

"I wanted to teach you, Helen, everything that the world is full of. Everything on it that's ours for a wink and it's gone, and what we are on it, the-light we bring to it and leave behind in-words, why, you can see five thousand years back in a light of words, everything we feel, think, know- and share, in words, so not a soul is in darkness, or done with, even in the grave."

I've been feeling all introspective lately...

A signifcant amout of time has lapsed since my last post, and for that, I apologize.

5 things we're thankful for, today.

1. I am thankful for SPF 15 and the sunshine to use it in.
2. I am thankful for John Denver, Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney.
3. I am thankful for my goldfish, Buffy, who is still alive after 31/2 weeks.
4. I am thankful for the fresh fruit and vegetables always in my refridgerator.
5. I am thankful for all the inspiration Audrey Hepburn has lended me over the years, and I wish her soul a very happy 82nd would-be- birthday.


I've been away from home for the past 8 days, spending much needed best-friend-time with Becca, at her home in Auburn, Washington. The sun came out the last few days, we reconnected with old friends in Seattle, dappled in ancient and almost forgotten Disney movies, enjoyed a thrilling Fast Five Imax experience, and achieved dreams.

We tried to celebrate Star Wars, but succeeded only in the fact that 3 of us wore Star Wars t-shirts all day long in downtown Seattle. That's okay, we still felt proud of our failure, as most humans tend to feel.
It was a beautiful trip, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to stay so long at one of my favorite places.


It's that time again, and today I've posted three new quotes on the fridge.

"Break the monotony. Do something strange and extravagant." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." -Jack Kerouac

And my favorite:

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." -Audrey Hepburn.


I also feel I should mention that I've not gotten behind on my avid habit of reading, I've just been forgetting to update you all on it. :)
So, here's a list of the books I've finished since December.

The Godfather- Mario Puzo
Eat Pray Love- Elisabeth Gilbert
Agnes Grey- Anne Bronte
The Secret Life of Bees- Sue Monk Kidd
Peter Pan- J.M. Barrie
Breakfast at Tiffany's- Truman Capote
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek- Annie Dillard
Ariel- Sylvia Plath
Notes from the Underground- Fyodor Dostoevsky

And I'm almost finished with Steinbeck's Winter of Our Discontent.

9 books in five months. I'm not going to deny that I'm rather proud of that. Almost 10 books.
I love reading.

I'm also taking a literary journey through the Abridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, and as soon as I finish Winter, I'm going to delve deliciously into Love in the Time of Cholera, as I've had it ever since Summer and have been waiting for the right time to read it. I feel this glorious month of May will be the perfect appointed time. Excitement.

This certainly seems to be the post of lists, doesn't it?
List-o-mania if you will. ;)

Here's one last closing list I will leave you with.

My father were sitting around on a sunny day, took a drive in his rickety old van, and began to laugh. This was the humor-baby that was born out of our ridiculous conversation.

Hannah's Top Ten List of Inspirational People

1. Jesus
2. Walt Disney
3. Michael Jackson.

(Good enough right? I mean, technically, that's all you need in life. But no. It goes on.)

4. Hercules.
5. Mr. Rogers
6. George Lucas
7. My dentist.
8. Sonny Bono
9. Jack Daniels
10. The Guy that Invented Dairy Queen.

So there, you have it. I hope it made you laugh, or smile, or even choke on your beverage.

A few honorable mentions included of course, Ringo Starr, Tim Allen, Lassie and for those SNL lovers out there: Terd Ferguson, but you can't win 'em all, now, can you? :)

Oh, before I leave, I just want to wish every one of you a very intergalactic Happy International Star Wars Day!

May the Fourth be with you.

;)

My loves,
My doves,
My eggs.