Lights on the Shishigashira Tree

"Love gets lost.... Find my love."

I've been listening to The Avett Brothers all day long today, and now I'm longing for the backwoods of Tennessee, and summer nights spent in fields catching fireflies. I've never seen Tennessee, and I've never seen fireflies, either.
I'd like to change both of these things soon.

The sun came out today, and played luxuriously, rolling around in the sky and shedding lovely, warm rays down to earth. I wish I could bottle sunlight, just like you catch and bottle fireflies. I could collect jars of sun from all over the world. Sunlight in Bali, where my affection for peaceful balance draws my heart. Sunlight in Jerusalem, where my thirst for Spiritual understanding draws my soul. Sunlight in Valencia, Rome, Provence and Morocco.

Labeled and sorted according to vibrancy, they would rest gloriously on a shelf in my writing room, and everyday as I sat, waiting to be inspired, I could look at my little shelf of sunlight, and feel the light, the heat, warm and encapsulate the room. I feel you could never be unhappy if you had a shelf of international sunlight in your possession. I might have two or three jars of Oregon sunlight, to always remind me of home, because I don't think the sun shines more beautifully anywhere in the world.......


"Well you set my life a'whirling, darlin' when you're twirling on the floor. Who cares about tomorrow? What more is tomorrow than another day?"

I made pancakes tonight, a little after 9'0'clock. My dad fried up some bacon, and with a few eggs, we ate breakfast at 9:30 pm. I told him I was glad that I could cook, because it made me feel accomplished, and safe. Like I was always going to be okay, because I can feed myself. In reality, though, I think it's just the pancakes that make me feel like I'm always going to be okay. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, that pancakes have healing powers unknown to modern science. They fix everything, and make every happy day a thousand times happier.

I love pancakes.

I'm inspired by pancakes.

While I was cooking them, I thought, "I bet these are going to make me want to write," and sure enough, here I am. Updating my blog, which I've been shamefully bad at this year. I was doing so well at updating every few days back in November/December, and then it kind of fell apart. May has been fairly successful, though, and it's not over yet.

Anyways, back to pancakes.
I have this secret dream that all of my life's biggest moments are going to revolve around pancakes. Well, the ones I can control, anyways.
For instance, I would probably say yes to any proposal, if it were over pancakes, because pancakes put me in the silliest, most romantic mood I've ever experienced. I'm a sucker for blue eyes and pancakes. The combination could square me away for the rest of my natural born life, if I'm not careful.
What an odd thing to have to be aware of...

I would love it if, at my very, very, very small, intimate wedding, instead of having a big dinner, we all sat at two or three tables with mismatched plates, lights in the trees and ate pancakes and drank wine. Because I actually do think the combination sounds delightful.

When I break the news to my husband that we're expecting, I'd do it over pancakes.

I'd eat pancakes the day my book was supposed to be released, the day of my child's birth, the day I move to Ireland, the day my best friend gets married. The day my child graduates high school. And, if possible, the last meal I'd ever want to eat would be pancakes.

It's only a dream, and a small one at that, but it's a dream nevertheless, and no matter what anybody says, I'm not letting go of it. That's the beauty of dreams, you can choose to hold onto them or not, because you're the only one who can make them come true......


"Make sure my sister knows I loved her, make sure my mother knows the same. Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name."

My mom and dad recently bought a Shishigashira Japanese Maple tree for my dad's birthday. 58th, birthday........I'm not sure when he started getting old.

Anyways, I'm no landscape artist, but it seems evident by my research that these Japanese maples, like other variations, come in different colors and textures, but they actually look like trees rather than large plants like so many of the other Japanese maples I've come across do. Trust me, for my 17 years, I've come across a lot of Japanese maples. And I still think they're beautiful, regardless.

Over pancakes, my dad made a remark about how "Come Christmastime, I'm going to put lights in the Shishigashira tree."
I said, "Why not put lights in it now?"
He said, ".... I'll think about it."

And as I looked out over our dark backyard, I imagined lights in the Shishigashira, and with the sound of Al Green serenading in the background, I smiled.

Christmas lights in a Shishigashira tree, in the middle of summer, with patio domino games, all to the tune of John Denver and Marvin Gaye.

Sometimes I think I never want to leave home.