Eleanor Roosevelt Days

Traveling isn't as hard as it sounds.

If you make it a priority, you'll get there.

This is the attitude I'm charging forward into 2013 with today.

January was a bad month paired with an extremely despairing attitude and my nights spent wallowing in my own self-deprecation.

So life still kind of sucks. Who cares?

Stand up and be a man about it, Hannah. "DO ONE THING EVERY DAY THAT SCARES YOU."

You know what scares me?

Life. Living everyday life. I am afraid of the mundane. I'm afraid of becoming stuck, of having too-big-of-goals to ever accomplish, of today. Of right now. Of how I'm going to make the most of the next 24 hours.

I'd much rather focus on tomorrow than confront what lies in front of me today.

You know what I say?

I say balls to that.

I may not like the way 2013 is shaping up, but I don't have to like it.

What I need is to still LIVE it, even though I may not love it. Because everyone knows that even if you start out hating something, in the end you always find something to love about it anyways.

And even if it's not what I want, it's still going to be good for me.

So here's what I've decided for 2013.

NO MORE EXCUSES.

I'm going to live. And I'm going to fight for each day that I have.

I'm going to skate more. Why? Because I love it. Why don't I skate now? Because I'm afraid of it.

I'm going to shoot more. Why? Because its therapeutic. How? I'm going to take classes and I'm going to get my concealed weapons license because its a dangerous world and I'm tired of living in fear.

I'm going to travel somewhere this year.

I don't mean I'm going to take a vacation to disneyworld or to spend ten days watching Netflix with my sister in Massachussetts. (Not that those aren't great, because they are. But this year needs to be different.)

I'm going to buy a plane ticket by the end of the year to somewhere REAL. I want to travel for the sake of traveling. Not for the sake of arriving.

Maybe I'll go by myself- maybe I'll take a friend- maybe I'll bust my sister out of mom-hood for a few days and drag her along on my adventure, with me. (Sorry Hal, but it's coming. Sooner or later you knew this would happen.)

I may have to stay in this place for longer than I anticipated.

But that doesn't mean I can't leave it once in awhile for something better.

And even though I may not have that glorious "see the entire world by the time you're 26" future that I truly thought I would.... I can still see the world. On my own time. In my own way. With my own schedule.

Because even though it'll be hard and will require lots of discipline, it's important to me and I'm going to make it happen. I'm going to make it a priority.

Where am I going to go?

I don't know yet. I don't think I have to know for awhile.

I know that when I was awake at 4am this morning, I remembered the way Rome smelled in the early morning. I remembered the birds, the cars, the churchbells.

I'd give just about anything to hear those churchbells again.

I also know I've wanted to drive from LA to Panama with my best friend for over 2 years now. But that trip is an undertaking of mega proportions and won't happen for a long time, if ever.

However, that doesn't mean I can never go to Panama on a quick plane trip.

And that doesn't mean I can never hop a bus from Panama City to Santa Catalina, which I'm firmly convinced may be the most beautiful place on the planet, from the pictures that I've seen.

So maybe it'll be Santa Catalina.

Or maybe I won't have enough money by the end of this year to fly internationally.

So maybe I'll just hit up Hawaii at the end of next year. Pipeline takes place in December on North Shore, and that is something I've wanted to see my whole life. Not to mention I have friends there.

So I don't know how I'm going to do it, or where I'm going to go, but at least I'm making a plan.


2013.

Get ready.

I'm a-comin.