Have you ever heard of the Love Languages?
There's five.
Physical touch, quality time, acts of service, encouraging words, and gifts.
You determine yours by thinking about how you like to give and receive love.
My love language list looks something like this.
1.Acts of service
2. Quality time
3. Encouraging words
4. Physical touch
5. Gifts
I feel the most loved when people put time into doing things for me.... Not that I can't do those things by myself, in fact, anyone who knows me knows I'd prefer to do things myself.
But, if someone were to help me clean the kitchen without being asked, or run an errand for me voluntarily on a whim, or wash my car as a surprise, I'd feel like I'm valued enough for people to put time and work into making me feel loved. I like to give love in this way, too. If I can help somebody out by doing something small, I think it turns out to mean something much more than an insignificant gesture.
Secondly, I feel loved when people just want to spend quality time with me. Spending quality time with my friends and my family is when I feel the happiest. Even if we're not doing anything exciting- even if its just watching movies, or sitting on the couch, talking, my love tank fills up quickly.
Although, my list does contain all five of the love languages, I don't usually pay much attention to the last three. My top two are acts of service and quality time.
Its not that I don't appreciate encouraging words, or gifts, its just that I'd prefer to spend time with you rather than receive a gift from you... And as far as physical touch goes, I'm one of those people who have a definite bubble, and don't appreciate it being popped. :) However, every now and then, I do appreciate neck rubs and hugs... sometimes cuddling, rarely hand-holding; what can I say? I feel like I can give love and receive love without having to touch people. ;)
What interests me the most about the Love Languages is how compatible people are, even when their love languages are different.
In one circle of my friends, "The Family", I'm the only member who's Love Language is acts of service, and there's three others who's languages are physical touch. This doesn't mean that I avoid those three friends at all costs, because I shirk away from touch- it just means that we mold to each other and give love as we know the other would like to receive it.
I do love hugs, and I love to hug my physical touch friends often, so they can feel loved by me in their preferred way- and there's members of my family who are quality timers- and I like to show them I love them by giving them more quality time than anything else.
And, in turn, my family loves me by spending quality time with me, and also doing small things for me to show me that they love me.
It is amusing, however, to watch The Family's interactions with each other.
Last night we were all together in celebration of a birthday, and as we were sitting at dinner, the three physical touch members were all sitting on one side in very close proximity to each other, holding hands and giving love in small physical ways.
Us quality timers were seated on the other side of the booth, at a comfortable distance from each other, reverting to conversation and laughter to fill our love tanks.
We all love each other equally, it just comes out in different ways for everyone.
What I have pondered about Love Languages, however, is how they work in romantic relationships.
I wonder if a relationship is destined to be more successful if the two individuals have the same Love Language, or if a difference in preference really matters, as long as the one knows how the other wants to be loved...?
I think of myself, and how I really don't think I could be with someone who constantly needs to be touching me in some way, but then I wonder if I would care because I loved that person so much anyways?
... I guess I'll just have to wait and find out, now, won't I? ;)
Amongst other things, I've just discovered 75 songs by The Decemberists on my iPod and have been listening to them for the past two hours. I have to say, I'm falling in love.
Their songs are very calming, and very refreshing for when you're in an introspectful mood, which today I find myself lost in.... Not to mention, they're one of those bands that are amazing to clean the house to... And the lyrics are very insightful, which I love.
We played a game last night, called the "If" game, where you ask a series of "If" questions from a book and everyone must answer. One question last night was something along the lines of, "If you could change the name of everyone you're with right now,what would you change their names to be?"
I was renamed Lucy, Gwendolyn, Julia and Audrey.
I kind of wish my name was different, now. Any one of those would be a gorgeous change. :)
Hm.. it's 2:15 and I've got things to do, yet.
I guess this is the time for me to get off my bum, go heat up some lunch, do some half-brained homework and relax back on the couch for either a nap or some more writing.
I haven't lost interest in my story, yet, by the way.... In fact, I can't get it out of my head. This is a very good sign. :)
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