"Just a Sad Song With Nothing to Say......."

It's mid-February, and I'm looking outside the window at 81 degree weather and thinking how much it feels like late summer. I'm sitting on my sister's bed in her cozy little house here in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I was supposed to be sleeping right now, as a nap was sounding so irresistably delicious, but I found my way here instead.

"Tank tops and early sunsets, just like my favorite scenes.. Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen....."

I love My Chemical Romance. Early Sunsets Over Monroeville will always remind me of late summer evenings and the happiest two years of my life to date.
I've lost a lot of people over the past year, the most monumental of which in the past 6 months. There are some people you never imagine living without, and even when you're faced with the clear and final truth of their absence in your life, you still can't imagine what it would be like without them. It's a cruel trick that fate plays on you. I was literally just sitting here thinking, "Man, I can't imagine life without..." And then I realized that I have been living without this person for almost 3 months now.
It really is the most surreal feeling. I miss how things used to be, but not enough to go back. Too much happened. Although, today, in this moment, I honestly wish nothing had changed. I wish my best friend was still my best friend, and that we could be driving down the highway together, listening to every My Chemical Romance song on my ipod, and singing along to every word at the tops of our lungs.
I think it's the summery feeling and the sunshine that brings those golden memories back. They really are beautiful moments, and glorious times that I shall never forget. I'll fight to not forget them..... Always set to the most clear blue sky, or the most luminous sunset, with the soundtrack of wonderful music playing in the background.
But for all it's worth, it's over now.
I'm not one to say it's over forever, because I'm hoping deep down that it's not over forever, but now is the present, and presently there's no room for rewinding or rekindling. Sometimes people grow apart so better things can fall together, after all.
I just wanted to make it known, however, that I do not regret a single memory of that friendship. I honestly believed at the time that it was the best thing happening to me. And I take pride in the fact that even though things are beyond messed up now, and feelings have been hurt and trust has been completely shattered, I can honestly say I don't regret those years. They were exactly what I needed to get by. And she was exactly who I needed by my side to get through them, and that's a beautiful, beautiful thing, even though it's not the same anymore.
And those illuminated moments, those favorite, guarded memories of mine are playing through my mind today, and I'm feeling so blessed to have made them with such a person as she.

"Well I was there on the day they sold the cause for the queen
and when the lights all went out, we watched our lives on the screen
I hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene
It was the roar of the crowd that gave me heartache to sing
it was a lie when they smiled and said 'you won't feel a thing',
and as we ran from the cops, we laughed so hard it would sting....."
Disenchanted-MCR