I have had Baby Got Back stuck in my head for the past two hours. I hear " 'cuz I'm long, and I'm strong, and I'm down to get the friction on!" over and over and over and it finally has driven me to creating a Baby Got Back station on Pandora. Now it's playing Hey Ya by Outkast, and I'm realizing maybe this wasn't such a bad occurance after all.
"Y'all don't wanna hear me you just wanna dance. Hey ya." ;)
So, it's been awhile. I haven't exactly had anything incredibly pressing to blog about the past few weeks, and I couldn't really find 'nothing' to blurb endlessly about either, so I was sort of at a standstill for awhile.
But I'm back, and even though I really don't have anything to say this time either, I'm still ready to say something! Whooooooo!
Although last night at work I did think of something rather brilliant (If I do say so myself) to entertain myself with, and also to blog about. It was a really super dead night at the restaurant, and I was desperate. So let me share my little stroke of genius.
I was standing there at the counter, flipping my way through an old Wine and Food issue, and this is when it happened. Now I need to give you a little background here.
There's this guy at work, who I believe is the epitome of ultra-creepazoid. I don't want to give his name, because even though I blatantly do not like this guy, I like to maintain my classy, if you know what I mean.
So let's call him.... Ricky.
Now, Ricky works in the kitchen, kneading dough by hand. Well, apparently he needed a refill so he comes up to where I am to refuel. I notice, from my 'casually flipping my magazine' stance, that he doesn't just gas up his incredible energy on soda, like the rest of the normal sugar junkies in the kitchen. No, he's overdosing here, he's going for the big kahuna.
A blackberry Italian soda in the red Coca-Cola employee -only cup. Sippy straw included. Daredevil.
Now, this intrigued me.
Not because anything "Ricky" does is ever remotely intriguing to me, because it's not, but because it surprised me. And naturally, when there's nothing else to do, I let my imagination run away with me and I started to think of all the different flavors of Italian soda syrup we have, and why it was that he likes blackberry the most.
I mean, call me crazy, but it seems to me that blackberry is a very underrated flavor in the artificial flavoring industry. Right?
So why did he choose it instead of, say, ever popular strawberry?
I concluded it had to be a character trait, rather than a personal preference.
"Oh, that makes sense." I thought to myself, somehow instantly persuading myself that Ricky choosing blackberry syrup made more sense than if he had chosen peach.
And then, following this train of thought, I started to come up with different characters of guy for each flavor of Italian soda.
Blackberry, is something guys with a "devil may care" attitude (I.e, guys like Ricky) drink. Guys who think they're funny, and that everybody likes them so they say whatever they want, when really nobody likes them and their jokes are just grossly inappropriate and unfunny. Poor Ricky! Actually, not poor Ricky, I feel worse for blackberry syrup and the stereotype of it I just now printed in all of your brains.
Moving on, I started to wonder what kind of guys would choose raspberry. This one was hard to place, so I decided to come back to it.
Peach was obvious. A softie, a sweetheart, a bit of a pushover, the kind of guy who's too shy to tell you he thinks you look pretty, so instead he avoids eye contact and makes you think you have something unattractive hanging from your nose, or stuck in your teeth. The sickeningly cute kind of guy.
Next was orange. Whoever chooses orange has balls. They're not afraid of anything, and can sometimes come off as a bit of a rogue, but always unintentionally. They're sweet and strong at heart. (Listen to me, this is seriously what I was considering while I was supposed to be working.)
After orange came strawberry. Well, strawberry is attractive to the attractive. Strawberry, shall we say, is for the guys who know they're good looking, and are looking for someone just as good looking as they are. Strawberry is by far the most sexy, the most fun, the flirtiest and the stickiest. You have to be careful with strawberry drinkers, they can be fun but are very unpredictable. That's arguably why they're so fun.
Now we're on to vanilla. Boring. As. All. Hell.
No really interesting person chooses a vanilla Italian soda. These guys are lily-livered and spineless. You can walk all over them, and they're most untrustworthy and are probably huge liars, because they're too afraid to tell the truth. (Isn't it amazing how much you can judge someone just by the flavor of their Italian soda? Seriously. I think I deserve some credit for this ridiculous way to pass the time!)
Next is cherry. Cherry's not much better than vanilla. Cherry is the cheap guy who will actually ask if it's more expensive to add the cream to the soda, rather than just asking for cream because it's yummy and who cares if it's a whole 25 cents more? (it's not, by the way, but still. Priorities, people.) Eurgh. Cherry is the overachiever, the kiss-up, the guy who kind of makes you want to throw up, because nothing artificially cherry ever tastes remotely like anything BUT medicine. Who wants to spend their time with cough syrup? Cheap cough syrup, at that?
Back to raspberry, which, in my opinion, is sort of the standup guy. It's in the name. Raspberry. It sounds delicious, refreshing, sweet, healthy and inspiring. Mmm. Raspberry is the kind of guy who pulls out your chair for you, but doesn't balk if you want to pay for your share of dinner. The one who lets you be you, and admires you despite your quirks and your faults. He's smooth, but not James Bond smooth ('cause everybody knows an occasionally clumsy guy is the real cutie), he's super attractive, successful, but not too successful (arrogance is a sin! Look it up!!) and he's funny, but not strawberry, overly-flirtatious funny, it's a down-to-earth, sometimes cruddy jokes just to get you to smile kind of funny. Yeah, like that.
We also have sugar-free raspberry, which is sort of the same thing, only less exciting and funny and sweet all around.
Way more moody, and a little too hesitant. Kind of like Col. Brandon compared to Mr. Knightley. Both good, but one definitely better than the other.
There's tons more that our restaurant doesn't carry. For instance, I've heard some places carry Lime, and Mango along with ones like Caramel and Hazelnut.
But we only have a few, and I don't want to keep going for fear I'd never stop.
Altho I must throw in the fact that limes have BOUNDLESS energy, and talk a mile-a-minute, so come ready to discuss anything and everything if you're going to be around them. FYI.
So yeah, that was my worknight last night. Call me insane, but it was really fun, and I actually think I have something here. Now, don't go getting confused and try to apply these rules to girls, it doesn't work the same way. Well, strawberry is pretty much the same no matter what your gender, but the others are all different.
That's the important part!
Amongst other things, The Spice Girls are wonderful, my co-worker told me I looked beautiful last night (he's such a sweetheart!), I've been doing yoga every single day and my mind, body and soul are thanking me, The Social Network really does deserve every award it's gotten and if you haven't seen it you need to, and yeah.
Peace, love and happiness.
Go forth and set the world ablaze, peeps.
I'm off to sleepytime yoga and then, well, sleepytime.
My loves,
my doves,
my eggs.
Xx
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