Titanic.

What I really want out of life, what I actually need, is to spend my life with someone who will understand how I feel about the healing, familiar, powerful safety in a favorite movie.

I want someone who understands my need for comfort in a very specific way. I can't handle someone who would be annoyed or confused. I just need understanding.

Sometimes I am an incredibly fragile person. All of whom know me figure this out at one point or another.

Rarely, people respond in a way that is soothing. Mostly they respond with the well-intentioned desire to fix or change and in the end, I become more fragile than I started out.

What I really want, and what I really actually honest-to-goodness need, is someone who will sit here with me, snacking on this bowl of grapes balanced in my lap and watching Titanic.

I don't need someone to understand how I feel about the movie itself, I realize that people these days don't like Titanic. It's begotten some ridiculous sort of reputation for being passé, antiquated and "overly emotional."

I'm sorry- what is the purpose of acting? To evoke emotion?

I digress.

I don't need someone to understand or love the movie the way I do, what I need is for someone to understand what the movie means to me on an emotionally comforting level.

It's like drinking Gatorade and eating Tapioca when I'm sick.

It's homey.

It's supportive. And sturdy. Like a good armchair.

I just want someone who will sit here quietly with me. Someone who is forgiving of my repetitive habits.

There are plenty of comforting habits that I can do alone, things I don't need another presence around for. I do not ask for anyone to understand my need to walk alone periodically- or to understand my frenzied inspirations at large, difficult French meals.

I don't even need someone to understand my love for the ocean, not really. My own love has been enough in that respect.

But this is different.

This is the one thing above all other significant trivialities.

I need someone who will watch Titanic with me.

Someone who won't judge my tears every single time.

Someone who won't be jealous of my momentary relapses of falling in love with Leonardo DiCaprio over and over again.

Someone who accepts my unorthodox manner of combating sadness with more sadness.

So please, my love, if you're out there, not waiting- because you can't wait for something you're not expecting- but just existing, or if, in a strange and funny world, you happen to be reading this right now- prepare yourself.

I won't ask for much. I really won't.

But I am a fragile heart, and if I give you mine, please treat it right and please, bear my grievances quietly. Hold my hand, re-fill this bowl of grapes, watch me repeat these scripted sequences from memory and pass no judgement on me for my instabilities and frailties.

That's all I really need.