Madly Ricocheting

"I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad.  Or I can go mad by ricocheting inbetween."  -Sylvia Plath


2011 has ended, my dears.   It's bright, vibrant flame has been snuffed.  The doors have been closed on a room that will never open again; a room which held in its reaches many new experiences,  many chances to grow, and cartloads of vitality.  No, Alice,  2011 did not lack muchness at all.

In fact, 2011 was the year of muchness.  I am thankful for everything God brought into my life over the course of the past year.  I have learned irreplaceable lessons.  I have seen beauty.  I experienced vitality.

The time now has come for 2012 to ignite.  Let oxygen feed the fire!  

Over the past week, I've been thinking a lot about how to christen this new year.  Last year, the word vitality came to mind.   This coming year has been a struggle to pin down for various reasons.  Part of me thinks its because I can't see past the next six months, so how could I possibly foresee a theme for the whole year?

Mostly when I look into 2012, I foresee a lot of space.  A lot of stark, blank, wide open space.  There's no known familiarity to really clog the vision.  I'm starting off 2012 by throwing myself headfirst into a completely new and foreign experience.

An experience that will force me to stand on my own two feet and take responsibility for all of my actions.  I will be at the mercy of my own, solitary whims.  I will be at liberty to call a few of my very own shots.  In short: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility,  and lest we forget:  Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.   Huzzah.  Huzzah.  Huzzah.


Oh, Please.

  Let's not deny, shall we,  that all of the whims and shots I'll be calling upon will have to do with such trivial things as complete control over the car stereo, walking alone on the beach for hours at a time  and whether or not the weather is good for a surfing lesson.  (Which I'm finding out doesn't really matter in the end, anyway.)

The theme for this year is not responsibility.  And it's not the pursuit of happiness, either.

The theme, or anthem, rather, for 2012 is freedom.

Freedom in choice,  freedom in faith,  freedom in ambiguity, freedom in the stark, open spaces that God will help me to paint with bold, vivacious colors over the next 12 months.

Freedom in starting over.

Freedom in expression.

Freedom in learning, from people and from life.

I didn't run a 5K in 2011 like I said I would.  I didn't take a bellydancing class and I didn't read my Bible everyday, either.  But I did travel, and I did yoga in places that you'd never imagine yourself doing yoga in,  and I caught fish.  I learned how to drive, I learned how to let things go, and I learned how to be hurt by someone without letting them walk all over you.

All because in the background of my mind, I knew that I had given myself the goals of learning how to savor every moment for its beauty and importance and of learning how to achieve vitality in the space of 12 short months.

I feel like I won.

So let's do it all over again in 2012, with that same thirst for life that vitality teaches you, but lets target it towards a deliciously ambiguous and unknown year.  Complete nakedness.  Freedom from the cages that our minds will desperately try to lock us in.


Take this journey with me.


Let's ricochet.



Xx,

Hannah